Selfish
by secretxlittlexdarling
Summary: Steve Maraboli once said, "I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship... sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane." And oh, how true this quote was.


**A.N.: oneshot-time!**

 **This wouldn't leave me alone and while i have a block on "Find a Way" i want to give you another little piece.**

 **Feedback is nice, no matter which kind.**

 **I am genuinely interested in what you think, because i tried a little different style for this one.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Steve Maraboli once said, "I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship... sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane." And oh, how true this quote was.

Kensi and Deeks have been together for a while now, so it was no surprise that some kind of routine formed their daily life. Those routines went so deep in their ordinary life that they grew to lulls, meaning lack of dates, fun times, conversations and one of the most important things - sex. It is a normal thing to happen in a relationship and most of them even get through this. In the case of Deeks and Kensi it was actually a rather late time for this to happen. Their lack of conversation wasn't a hint for them to be going through a lull, because they have been partners and friends so long before their relationship that sitting together in quiet wasn't awkward - it was a content silence. So all together they had a quite perfect relationship, with every benefit.

But like in every tale, the luck runs out and soon enough they found themselves in the middle of a lull- or rather a series of lulls. Not only was their job hard enough as it was, no added to that her mom became sick and Kensi had to care for her. Most of her pay supporting the debts for her mothers insurance left her in need for more money to keep their apartment. Of course Deeks said he would be holding the pay for that but being the Kensi she was, she wouldn't take it. It wasn't their apartment for nothing - both paid half the rent and it would stay that way. So to cover the additional costs she took up on extra undercover stunts or any other opportunity that the agency offered to earn more money and a few extra hours.

Time together became a rarity, she left early to care for her mom before work and came back home hours later after he did. The immense amount of work slowly but surely began to leave a stain on her too. She barely got enough sleep for her workload, so their occasional meetings were reduced to small talk, little pecks and hugs before she either rushed out of the house or basically fell into bed from being so exhausted.

Most of the time Deeks was asleep already when she came home. In the beginning he was waiting on her, falling asleep on their couch. But once she pleaded him to go to bed without her so he would get the rest he needed, he did just that. His argument that she needed much more rest than he did fell on deaf ears and he only got told it was for her mother, that she couldn't let her down.

It was Thursday night, 11.30 pm, and Deeks was currently working on some clients will. While Kensi had become so busy he figured he should pick up his lawyer license and earn some extra money too. He secretly even paid for some of the expenses from the hospital, anonymously of course or else she would rip him a new one for doing this. Because even though their relationship was petty stable and both of them depending on the other, Kensi still wouldn't want to depend on him in financial situations. Sure that he paid their groceries once a while was something different, but rent or ber mothers insurance debts weren't any of his concerns in her opinion. Deeks of course had a different opinion but no talk he had with her changed anything.

So here he was, fiddling and twirling his pen and his mind starting to wander of to when Kensi would come home from yet another extra undercover support. His eyes cut to the clock, 11.31 pm, he let out yet another sigh and dropped his pen rather harshly on the paper. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and raked his hands through his shaggy hair. The lone single work desk lamp illuminated the guestroom they had turned and used as office.

The couple had now a completely different schedule, so date nights fell flat first thing. Their ritualistic reality tv evening followed suite and lastly came "sexy sundays" as Deeks had named them. Sleeping in late and spending mainly their whole day in bed and naked with the exception for bathroom and food breaks. At first he understood why and he never asked for anything. But a guy can only last that long and it's been quite some time since they have been intimate - 5 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours and 41 mintues - not that he was counting though. He let out a deep breath and prayed to god that this lull they had fallen in would end soon. Another glance at the clock told him he could add tomoe minutes to his countdown.. or was it a count-up?

The dangling of keys ripped him out of his thoughts and his ears perked up, wanting to verify that he actually heard right, which the click-clack of her heels confirmed.

In the speed of lightning he was out of the office and in the living room.

"Hey, you're home." He flashed a smiles, causing her to jump around with a shocked look.

"Oh my god, Deeks. You scared me." Another thing that wouldn't have happened when she would have normal hours. She got out of her heels and sets her bag by the door, along with her keys. "I thought you would be asleep already."

"Yeah well i had some stuff to do and i wanted to see you before sleep." He smiled sheepishly.

"Aw." She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her tired eyes. "Thanks, but i already told you before that you need rest." She replied, coming to him for a hug and a quick peck on the lips.

"Well i also made you dinner, you just need to put it in the microwave." He holds her in an embrace a little longer.

"That's nice, but i'm so tired i just want to sleep. I will eat it tomorrow or take it with me to work." She kisses his cheek. "Let's just head to bed." Which they did.

"How was your day?" He asked, as he was aleady dressed in his pyjamas and laid down while she told him about her day. It wasn't much, but she told him about her mom's condition, how the suspect tonight was a sexual pig and how her female co-worker was a total bitch. But Deeks could only concentrate on how she got very long, and sexy legs as she stripped out of her skinny jeans, how her hair fell in long soft curls as she pulled out her pins and mostly how she let her bra unceremoniously fall on the floor and just slipped into his old LAPD shirt, which barely covered her bum. All together making him squirm under the blanket to hide his obvious situation. Normally he wouldn't be affected by her changing but the almost 6 weeks were taking its toll on him.

"The least you can do when you ask about my day, is listening." She rolled her eyes while she climbed in bed, not having received an answer to her question if he could believe that womens nerve to treat her like that.

"Sorry but i really did listen, got the important parts - your mom, idiot suspect and stupid bitch co-worker." He summed up, receiving another eyeroll before she took his hand and laid down, pulling so he is spooning behind her. Deeks sends thousand prayers to god that she won't feels how worked up he is, because he really doesn't want to make her feel like she has to do anything.

"Not now, Marty."She mumbled sleepily, mixed with a yawn and leaves therefore his prayers unanswered.

"Yeah no, sorry." He tried to get out of her grip, but she wouldn't let him. So after settling into another not so spooning position he finally drifts off too.

The next morning his alarm rang, he made a habit of setting it early to make sure he could prepare at least beakfast for her and see that she had something to eat to go through the day. Glancing at the still sleeping form he quickly kisses her head and slips in the bathroom for a shower. While he usually made it a quick one, he was still affected by last nights event and definitely needed to release some tension. Closing his eyes he let the hot water run down his body and relax his muscles. And for the first time in those last 5 weeks he felt calm.

His mind cleared with every minute that he stood under the water. He was so lost in his calm feel and peace of mind that he never heard the shower door open and close. Kensi smiled to herself and sneakily drew closer to him without touching him, until she placed a feather light kiss on his neck. Deeks literally jumped and let out a not so manly squeak, jerking away in a defensive pose.

"Deeks.. my god, what is wrong?" Kensi exclaimed, having taken also a defensive stance to his reaction.

"Shit! Sorry, Kens!" He runs a hand through his hair. "You caught me off guard."

"I figured." She replied with a chuckle. "Who do you think would come in here?"

"A buglar?"

"Really?" She looked at him sceptical. "A buglar coming into the shower with you, kissing your neck?"

"Ehh.. maybe not." He scratched his head. "So..uhum.. what brings you here?" He asked, rather embarrassed. It wasn't the first time for such an encounter but he still felt rather uneasy seeing as it has been so long, and seeing her naked did definitely not help his case.

"Well... i wanted to make up... for last night..-"

"You don't have to." He interrupted her, his mind screaming aleady at him for being so stupid and saying that.

"...and not just last night but also the last 5 weeks, 2 days, 15 hours and 36 minutes."

"You counted too?" He asked shocked, but can't help the smile that spreads out on his face.

"You have no idea. Did you actually think i could be that long away from my sexy detective talking boyfriend?" She drew closer again and ran her hands down his chest, kissing his shoulder up his neck.

"But you had a lot on your plate. And you certainly didn't need me to that, so i didn't say anything." He brought out before a moan followed Kensi's administrations of giving him a hickey and her ever roaming hands. A moan that stirred not only his desire but also left Kensi feeling tingly.

"Sometimes you're just too nice putting others before your own needs." She mumbled breathless against his lips, as his own hands had pulled her closer, to pull her in a kiss.

"Too nice?" He scoffed. And without further warning he took her hands in one of his and pinned them above her head, deeping their heated kisses and pushing her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his naked hips their hands wandered off and familiarized themselves again after it has been too long.

All in all, it's normal for couples to have said fallouts or lulls in their relationships, but there is also a time for fixing those. A good conversation, some sexy sundays and just putting their own desire before others once a while. Some take a while too get over it, a week or a few days - and some only need a day to get through it, or rather twice a day.

Needless to say, the time of lulls in Deeks and Kensi's relationship was over now after exactly 5 weeks, 2 days, 15 hours and 56 minutes. And if it goes after their will there won't be any in the future, because one thing Deeks has learned from this all - there is a time to be nice and friendly as there is also a time to be selfish.

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